Some time ago I found out that life goes exactly on the way you choose to guide it. It seems to be one of those clichés, but I am the proof that it is real.
In 2011 I was living a weird moment. I was working too much and always seemed to be not enough. I almost didn’t have time for my family and my friends, who were already dating someone and seemed like they didn’t have much time for me. I was afraid. Fear of being alone, not having money, not being able to work, to buy and to travel. It was when I decided to go on vacation and make my dream of going to India alone come true.
I spent my savings and paid in twelve instalments, like buying your own house hehe but something was telling me that it would worth. A month travelling around Rajastan, visiting temples, being ran over by cows and mistaken with Hindu Gods’ reincarnation. But much more than that, it was the month in which I, by myself, forgot my fears, learned how to take care of me and like my own company.
I came back different and I confess that I still get lost when listing all these changes, but one of them is very clear. I discovered that beauty is, only and exclusively, in the eyes of whose sees.
It is curious because we always have two ways to pursue, the one that brings serenity, harmony and happiness and the other one that impregnates you with bad energy, ruins your day, puts you distant from people and leaves you sleepless. We are the ones who choose what we want to receive.
In India this became very clear to me. I could have only noticed the garbage spread everywhere and the children begging in the flashlights. I could have let myself be driven by the fear of being a girl, very Brazilian, alone in a country like that, but for some reason it was not what marked my memory. I could see the beauty of the women in their colourful clothes and the simplicity they manifest their faith. I choose to see that, even with dozens of other issues calling out my attention. Of course that the choice is not always clear and easy to be done, but even so it’s possible to take a beautiful teaching from it.
For you who wake up complaining, write offensive comments on internet, instigate the hate with shallow opinions, blame a single political party for the problems of the world, create intrigues in the work, envy the friend’s happiness, spread prejudice and intolerance and is always ready to judge and criticise even who you don’t know, here is an advice: you need more beauty in your eyes.
I mistrust that before going there I could be walking to find this team I mentioned above. I used to believe that there was no true love, that work was just to have money and only rich people could enjoy the luxury of travelling the world and work with something they like. I also didn’t use to spend so much time building my own opinion instead of just going with the flow. I was becoming a star in belittling others’ beauty and underestimating the value of all that seemed to be too hard – or easy – to conquer.
Summarising, I was @$& boring! My sister used to tell me that everyday… It is a pity that I took so long to understand. I would like to publicly thank my family and friends for the comprehension and patience. All of you have a place in heaven.
But it is good that I could have the chance to spend some time with me on my own and realize that I could choose between being unbearably boring or a nice person, respecting my personality, tastes and abilities. I preferred to follow the second option and found myself as a good friend of mine, funny and a good travel partner, mainly after creating a cartoon voice that looked like an imaginary friend, but I don’t want to talk more about it as it may affect my future career in politics hehe.
Back to what matters, I’ve concluded that I could see beauty in everything, but I would need to be open for that. Every person and every experience is, in most of it, a reflection of what we see. More than that, it’s a reflection of how we see ourselves and the world. Embittered, sad, confused and frustrated people will always project bad feelings in who is nearby and this always creates a cycle of bad energy, because in the end you receive from the universe exactly what you offer him.
It’s a life style that once you start practicing it becomes natural and fluid. Every coin has its two sides and we can choose the value we give to each one and the teaching we can take from it.
During these years and the last month, I realized that happiness can be a permanent felling, that varies between peaks of excitement and continuous serenity. I am not a scientist, a psychiatrist, neither a psychologist and this is my humble personal opinion based on the little I’ve learned so far.
All of these were to tell you about my theory that justifies the problems of the world. For me the cause of everything bad that happens is a combination of two factors: not loving ourselves and the partner chosen + not having passion for the work.
I start with the first point. Who still didn’t learn to love himself is always looking for something that completes him and the easiest way to achieve this is following that checklist taught by the common sense as “normal to do’s”, even if this doesn’t make you feel a breathtaking joy…
This explains many problems of the world, mainly when we stop to observe the cultures in which marriage is more related to a political-economical alliance than to a love story.
Who doesn’t love his own company and doesn’t recognise his qualities and desires is always uncomfortable with those inconvenient questions made by the aunt during the Sunday lunch and can end alone and sad or, in the worst scenario, join someone who carries the same affliction. In the end, the truth is that there is nothing better than the freedom and lightness of being yourself, alone or with the love of your life (that appears when you already love yourself).
My second point is in the same line. We are stimulated to choose our profession very early, by necessity or opportunity, what most of the times doesn’t even give us the chance to think about how we really would like to serve the world.
After all, work is the noblest way to serve others, put your gift and your passion available to who needs it. I would love to tell to all the waiters, drivers, doctors, engineers, gardeners and all other professions how magic is the work they do. The chance the waiter has to transform a solely meal in a pleasure moment and the driver who can kindly conduce lots of loving, concerning and excited hearts are probably things that don’t come to their minds, but if we start to see them as a manifestation of the best we have in each one of us, we can fell that a lot can be changed, right?
If we can dream with the ideal, imagine how it would be if the public workers could understand that a special mission is given to them, of taking care of what belong to us and treat us with the dignity that every citizen deserves.
But we cannot expect it from who doesn’t love what he does or doesn’t understand that we are all here to serve each other.
People who don’t love themselves, his partner or his work are usually angry, in a bad mood and searching for money, power and material things. It’s everything we gain for free when we allow ourselves to fell and receive the true and genuine love. These people are moved by fear. The same fear I used to feel… Of being alone, not having money, not being recognised… Afraid of going out from the comfort zone and dare themselves into something new that brings valuable awards to the soul, not to the pocket. These are the people who relieve their emptiness in bad comments on the internet, fight in the traffic jam, corruption, war, individualism and everything that make us lose the faith in humanity.
But then you decide to give a chance to this “beauty in the look” and try your best to see the good side of each experience. You give up from judging, being jealous, overlooking, corrupting and start to see a new reflex in the mirror, which brings you serenity, harmony and shining eyes.
The time goes on and now you enjoy your own company and find out that there is no half orange. I love Fabio Jr., but he has to agree with me that this story of half orange creates a huge fear of being there waiting for the other part that never arrives. When we realize we are complete, the best we have to receive is someone/something that makes us fell alive and ready to give back to the world with the best we have inside us.
We are a full orange and what we need is only a good squeezer that can take our best out.
This squeezer usually comes as a good love, for himself and also for someone else and an honest job. By honest I mean a job that allows you to perform your real talents and passions.
So that is it! Love is back to your life and you are falling in love again. To me there is nothing simpler, braver and truer than falling in love. Lovers have fun with everything, they laugh, think they are beautiful, that everybody is beautiful as well and deserve that everybody could understand this feeling. People who love what they do are not focused on money and the award is much bigger that they need much less to live.
Please, don’t come with that talking that “working with what you love is for rich people”. If you still think like that, go back to the first paragraph. Working with love is to people who love themselves beyond the appearances and learned that cumulating valuables and money is a collar that arrests us in obligations and desires that definitely are ephemeral and replaceable. If you still doubt it’s possible, the protagonists of the experiences in this site can prove it. The more love you have for what you do, less important money gets to your life.
That’s why I think the lovers, real lovers, wish that the whole world falls in love too, so that nobody will be jealous.
Exactly this jealously is, in my opinion, the root of all the problems in the world. People in love with themselves, with their partners and their jobs don’t allow to be caught by bad vibrations. Their head is busy enough loving the simple, breathing happiness, sharing dreams and trying to solve the problems with li
ghtness and optimism.
Finally, people who love don’t wish others anything but love. Love is abundance. Floods and never fails on getting money, happiness, hope, faith, generosity and gratitude. Who believes in love, practices love and grants love creates a field in which we can harvest only good fruits. We feel supported by a greater force. The power of love itself.
People who love see the world differently, more colourful, more truth, more humbleness and more beauty.
At last, beauty is in the eyes of the one who sees. And I see love in you.